For A Pessimist You're Pretty Optimistic
by JasperPaxton77
Summary: What if the "talk" in the forest went differently? What if Bella wasn't quite so slow, and actually acted like the intelligent girl she was characterized as?  What if she argues against Edward leaving? One-Shot!


FOR A PESSIMIST YOU'RE PRETTY OPTIMISTIC-Twilight Saga SongFic

What if the "talk" in the forest between Bella and Edward went differently? What if she wasn't quite so slow, and actually acted like the intelligent girl she was characterized as? What if she sees through Edward's lies about how he "doesn't want her to come" and she fights back by pointing out what seems to be Edward's Major Flaw? One-Shot!

This is my first story, and I just wrote it for fun. Constructive criticism is welcome, but please don't just tear it apart. Thanks = )

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fanfic. They all belong to their original creator, Stephenie Meyer, and I'm just changing her original story up a bit and making Bella a little...tougher. = ) Everything in Italics is originally from New Moon, beginning around page 68 if you wanted to know. I just needed it to start this story.

All of the bolded words are lyrics to Paramore's song "For a Pessimist You're Pretty Optimistic" from their album _Riot! _If you haven't heard it, you should go listen = ) kay, onto my story.

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_"Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt._

_ "Bella, we're leaving."_

_ I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask._

_ "Why now? Another year-"_

_ "Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."_

_ His answer confused me. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant._

_ He stared back coldly._

_ "When you say we-," I whispered._

_ "I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct._

_ I shook my head back and forth mechanically trying to clear it._

_ "Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."_

_ "You can't, Bella. Where we're going...It's not the right place for you."_

_ "Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."_

_ "My world is not for you," he said grimly._

_ "What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"_

_ "You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."_

_ "You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"_

_ "As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me._

_ "No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me-somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's yours already!"_

_ He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder-like the liquid gold had frozen solid._

_ "Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_

**Just talk yourself up, and tear yourself down  
You've hit your one wall, now find a way around  
Well what's the problem? You've got a lot of nerve...**

"I can't believe you! Don't you dare do this Edward! I won't let you!" I screamed, shocking myself and him.

Quietly, still looking surprised, he whispered, "Do what, Bella?"

"You think you're being noble, don't you? Trying to leave me because you love me...thinking it's better for me." Having calmed down a little bit, I refrained from screaming this explanation, hopefully rationally thinking my way through what could be a defining moment in my life.

I looked into his eyes, once again liquid gold and more welcoming. He wasn't ready for what I was about to tell him. "You're leaving because you're scared Edward; not because you love me."

He tried to interrupt, but I wouldn't let him get that far.

"You're too scared to face your least favorite part of this existence. You think all vampires lack a soul, and you don't want to do that to me. And you've got a lot of nerve to think you can just make a decision like this!

"I've told you over and over again, someone like you can't _not_ have a soul! It wouldn't be right! And if, in the slimmest chance ever, you happen to be right, I'm willing to let you _take_ my soul! That's my opinion on this...why can't you respect that?"

My adonis looked at me, still speechless.

**So what did you think I would say?  
No, you can't run away, no, you can't run away  
So what did you think I would say?  
No, you can't run away, no, you can't run away  
You wouldn't!**

"I won't stop you from leaving, Edward, you know that's not physically possible." I wanted, no _needed_, him to understand.

He finally managed to get a word in and calmly said, "That's not it, Bella. You can't even celebrate your birthday-your _birthday_, which is supposed to be a happy occasion!-with my family, without being attacked by my brother! What kind of life is that for you?" In his rant, he had stepped closer to me, getting in my face to prove his point.

"It's not my first choice." I said, matter-of-factly.

"What? It isn't?" He sputtered, unsure of where I was going with this, still wishing he could read my mind. "Why are you arguing so hard for me to stay then?"

"My first choice would be for you to turn me, of course."

"Not going to happen, Bella! I won't do that do you. I'm not going to damn you, my angel, to this life! I'm not going to be responsible for taking away your human existence and the things that come with it."

**I never wanted to say this  
You never wanted to stay  
I put my faith in you, so much faith!  
And then you just threw it away  
Just threw it away**

"Exactly! So my next best option is to nearly-only NEARLY-get hurt. I'd do that for you, Edward. I need you here that much!" I was panting at this point, out of breath. "I've given you everything. My love, my heart, and I've offered you my soul! You can't leave now, you don't know what it would do to me!"

Edward was getting angry now, and defensive. "You're human, Bella, your emotions will change, you _will_ move on!"

"Are you sure of that, Edward?" He flinched. Had he considered that? Is that another worry of his? "How can you not believe, at this point, how much you are a part of me? I've expressed my love for you in every way I could possibly think of that you'll allow, and you still don't understand."

I was beginning to feel hopeless. What could I do to make him see? If only he could read my mind...

"I know you will move on, because I'll beg you to. I'm begging you to forget about me!" he whispered.

**I'm not so naive, my sorry eyes can see  
The way you fight shy, of almost everything  
Well, if you give up, you'll get what you deserve**

"I saw you flinch earlier, even with my pathetic eyesight. You're afraid I won't move on. You think that too. And that's a good thing! That means I believed you when, every day, you told me that you loved me, and that I was important to you!

"I know you were lying earlier, Edward. Saying that you didn't want me to go. I know in my heart that you would hurt just as much without me. You even told me that, without me around, you saw no reason to continue on. That you planned to go to the Volturi to ask to be killed." I looked at him incredulously. "What kind of life is that for you? Oh, right, it isn't one!"

Stomping around him in my disbelief, to get a break from staring him in the eyes, he grabbed my wrist and sharply, but still gently, turned me to face him. Now looking into his face once again, I could see the battle in his mind. For once he was the open book.

**You were finished long before, we had even seen the start  
Why don't you stand up? Be a man about it?  
Fight with your bare hands about it now?**

"Bella, I knew this would be hard from the beginning, but I was willing to try it. I've done everything I can think of to make this work for us, and still be safe for you, but-"

"What? Did you ever once think this might work? You were dooming this relationship before it even began! Did you hope for something good to happen? I think it did. Or did you hope for it to end in despair, for it to become an impossibility?" If my heart hadn't started to break earlier, from when he implied he didn't want me, it would have cracked now. He didn't even _hope_ for this to go somewhere...did he think he'd have to hurt me in the end, and just didn't care? "You didn't try hard enough. Keep fighting for this, Edward. Keep fighting for us, for _me_!"

**I never wanted to say this  
You never wanted to stay  
I put my faith in you, so much faith!  
And then you just threw it away  
Just threw it away**

"Are you just going to give up?" I asked. "Because that's not you. The Edward I know would try to make this work...for both of us. You leaving hurts both of us more than it helps."

I was beginning to lose steam, and softened my stance a little. He was still staring directly into my eyes, trying to comprehend what exactly sparked that change in me. My eyes started to water, and I gasped in surprise that they hadn't done so already.

My gasp must have meant something different to Edward, though, because I was in his arms in a second; where I always want to be.

"Please, Bella," he begged, "don't cry. But don't make me do this...don't make me hurt you."

"You leaving hurts me more than you staying possibly ever could. Please see that, Edward! I'm giving you all of the options that I can live with, and you need to pick one," I sobbed into his shirt.

"You...don't care? If I do something incredibly selfish, by taking your soul? You won't loathe me for it? Just so I can keep you with me forever, love?" he questioned, stroking my hair before I felt his lips press softly against my forehead.

"Edward, it's not selfish if that's what I want, too. Give me what I want, let me live with you...for eternity. Please."

"Bella, you're making this too hard for me to do the right thing-"

I looked into his eyes while tightening my hold on his shirt. I bit my lip in hesitation and then took a deep breath.

"What makes you so sure it's the right thing? Please, Edward." A few more tears slid down my cheeks. I coughed around my tears and repeated quietly, "Please."

He stared into my eyes, and, finally understanding something, he shut his eyes and slowly took a deep breath. He pushed me away a little bit and I began to fear the worst...

**I never wanted to say this  
You never wanted to stay  
I put my faith in you, so much faith!  
And then you just threw it away  
Just threw it away**

...when he leaned down and kissed the soft spot behind me ear.

My mind was racing, wondering where he was going with this, wondering if he would just take off. But everything froze when, without any warning, he bit me.

His body shuddered around mine as my blood entered his mouth. I began to feel weak, weak enough that I may have imagined this, but I thought I heard him with my human ears say one more time, "I love you, Bella Swan. With all of my heart. I _need_ you to come with us..."

And the burning began, along with my life with Edward.


End file.
